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03-20-2024, 10:05 AM | #11 | |||
Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,319
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Quote:
Is this a comfortable pitch range for you to sing in? Another thing I can fix after the score is done is to make it a bit higher or lower, so it doesn't strain as much to sing at the upper/lower ends of the register. If you think that would be helpful, we can experiment a bit. Coming back to the previous post... Quote:
As for the lyrics - Quote:
The other stanza... I am still mulling over, and may need some convincing. It sounds lovely, but this wasn't how I read Finrod's meaning initially. I had a more depressed read on him. "My life was worthless, a waste, I am dying a stupid inglorious death in a pit" - and no backbone to give his life form and meaning, to echo Beren's earlier love theme "by you my life is justified". Your translation takes a different twist on it, that Finrod finds the thing which makes his existence worthwhile, which is sacrificing himself for Beren. It makes sense grammatically and even story-wise, but a deep part of me still prefers the utterly dejected Finrod. I rather like your Beren line - even though "Finrod" doesn't rhyme with "Beren", I think we can let that slide for the purpose of better meaning/grammar. It's also a lot easier to work with. Actually....... No, Finrod! / My loyal king, let not hope die! But by what / my [long? whole? own?] life can be justified? my [tepid?] life is justified? I think there is a way to bring "justify" back in there in some form. You are right, we were over-focused on keeping that specific line. No, Finrod! / even from ashes hope may rise! But Beren, / what deed my life now justifies? Those daring / to hope may live through [perils?] dire! But Beren, / what justifies my life entire? This makes a whole new playing field. I'm not sure I've found something I love yet, but I think this direction is an improvement. Thank you. This reminder was very much needed.
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
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