Paper Telephone.

[Durelin]

Lol, feel free to just finish it!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Durelin

Lol, feel free to just finish it!!

I guess you're the one affected by it, so I'll take that as permission.

Let's get this train-wreck a-rollin'!


A party of drunken Hobbits thrashed their way through the Old Forest in search of sandwiches. Instead they found Tom Bombadil, naked and dancing with the Barrow Wight. The song they sang went like this…

Originally Posted by Bumpkin

Paul, the desperately lonely Mr Bliss Fanatic, was dismayed to the point of violence when Tolkein refused to write a sequel.

Taking this message back home, it was over-heard by Lommy. She almost exploded with horror and amusement. She hurried off to the nearest public toilets to paint this on the walls…

Originally Posted by Lommy

Toilet guardian, Adaneth, did not fully understand the meaning of the picture, and so she wrote a message on the roof…

Originally Posted by Adaneth

A deranged fan threatens Tolkien at sword-point in an attempt to get him to write more about a minor character; under the circumstances, he is forced to agree

Fighter pilot, Oddwen, spotted this and so deliberately crashed her plane into the ground – the debris made an interesting pattern…

Originally Posted by Oddwen

The cleaning party, led by A Little Green, set about making the land happy again. A Little Green sang a song as she worked… It went like this…

Originally Posted by A Little Green

The cat goes berserk upon discovering that Tolkien is eating its mouse.

This song was heard by Laurinquë who rushed home to tell her deaf flat mate about it through the medium of paint.

Originally Posted by Laurinquë

But when Blind Guardian stole all the wall paper and saw the picture. All the police ever found was a crazed note scrawled upon a tramp’s neck, saying…

Originally Posted by Blind Guardian

Tolkien eats his computers mouse while his cat looks on in shock!

Pitchwife stumbled upon this tramp while walking his father around the park. When the full impact hit him, he chopped down the nearest tree and fashioned it into this…

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Loslote dropped her ice cream thanks to the marching Ents. Her anger was so great that she used the spilled ice cream to make this picture…

Originally Posted by Loslote

A great cry went up from those who witnessed this picture. None were greater than Diamond who shouted…

Originally Posted by Diamond18

"How very nice, to eat some mice," said the man who was fat, to his cat.
"If only you were smaller, and I was taller," sighed the cat, eying the rat, "it would be me eating that little feller!"

This shout reverberated so loudly that it smashed the glass house belonging to Legate. He managed to sweep up the debris into an interesting pattern…

Originally Posted by Legate

But the recycling company, lead by Rune, felt offended that the glass had not been given to them. So Rune made a statement to the local mayor, saying…

Originally Posted by Rune

Bert's attempt to consume all living beings fail as he is easily amused by his own antics.

The undercover super hero, Aganzir, heard all of this and decided to expose the Mayor’s failings by painting the sky to look like this…

Originally Posted by Aganzir

Mnemosyne, a sky specialist, wrote a thesis on this strange apparition. It wasn’t a very long thesis and it went like this…

Originally Posted by Mnemosyne

Gollum's all-baby diet did wonders for his figure.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The achedemics were unimpressed. Especially satansaloser2005, who demanded the paper be removed. So intent was she that she rearranged the whole university she worked in to look like this…

Originally Posted by satansaloser2005

Janitor at the university, Nogrod, saw all of this with some level of confusion. When he went home, he explained to the mantelpiece…

Originally Posted by Nogrod

After a few unsuccesful experiments to reach invisibility by slimming Gollum sticks to his own interpretation of the Phantom Queen's low-carb diet.

Hidden in the clutter of said mantelpiece was Eonwe. With agility that would embarrass an elephant, he hopped to the telephone and then broke it apart before rearranging it into this pattern…

Originally Posted by Eonwe

A Telephone Repairs Company sent wilwarin538 around to fix it. She was so sickened by the sight of it that, once she had finished fixing it, she dialled a random number and screamed down the phone…

Originally Posted by wilearin538

Gollum abandons his quest for invisibility and signs up for Queen Phantom's new fitness program.

Volo, the phone operator, almost spilled his tea all over the control panel. He avoided doing so by shoving an ent into a wood chipper. The chippings flew out of the window and made this pattern in the air.

Originally Posted by Volo

While taking her pet coffee mug for a walk, elronds_daughter spotted this strange apparition and was overcome with joy and stomach aches. As she rushed to the local chemist for some high powered (and, indeed, steam powered) drugs, she sang a song that went like this;

Originally Posted by elronds_daughter

Having finally gotten through Ring-separation therapy, Gollum realizes that without the Ring's inherent sex appeal, he must join the Witchking's gym - located in a magical forest - in order to become more manly.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Durelin, being old and crotchety, was annoyed by all this singing and wanted the neighbourhood to return to sanity. The best way seemed to be turning all the gardens into pictures that looked like this…

Originally Posted by Durelin

Government gardens were also affected and local MP Beregond was inundated with protests calling for the removal of these offensive images. Eventually, Beregond made a statement to the press saying…

Originally Posted by Beregond

Having recovered the ring, Sauron's party was a startlingly dull affair; his minions exercised and dreamed of blonde women

Tree lover and local crazy person, TheGreatElvenWarrior, returned from battle at just the time when this statement was being splashed across the news. She was so upset that she called upon all the ents to gather together and trample the city into this shape…

Originally Posted by TGEW

An exploded penguin named Lommy had been a resident of the post box outside the city. Upon seeing its new shape, she screamed so loud that she exploded all over again, making this noise…

Originally Posted by Lommy

"Sauron's wild victory party became even wilder when the Gollum clones were unleashed and started planning beating Galadriel."

Cleaner in chief, Greenie, refused to mop this mess up. Instead, she went to her room and painted the carpet to look like this…

Originally Posted by Greenie

Oddwen, who had taken the form of a carpet, was not happy about this at all. Her rage was so intense that the government had to throw her in prison. As she was dragged away, she was heard shouting…

Originally Posted by Oddwen

Even as the victorious invading Viking armies of the Witch King celebrate the victory of Sauron, five Gollum clones escape their cage with dreams of punching Galadriel.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Prison guard, Blind Guardian, was amused by all of this shouting and decided to share her feelings with the world. So, she went to the high court and painted this in a judge’s backside…

Originally Posted by Blind Guardian

Laurinque was a pencil pusher at this court. When she saw the painted face there was no option but to sue the entire city for the offense it caused. Her opening statement was this…

Originally Posted by Laurinque

Incarcerated, the five mini passerine Gollums daydream of Galadriel while Hookbill demonstrates his deep love for Sauron by throwing wine at passing clouds.

Nogrod was the court artist. He drew many things. When he heard Laurinque say this stuff he chopped his own nose off and made it explode, creating this picture on the table…

Originally Posted by Nogrod

Pitchwife was the court CON artist. He managed to swindle his way off with the table in question and sell it on not only the black market, but also the blue market and the pink market. His best selling technique was to yell this at the top of his lungs…

Originally Posted by Pitchwife

Adored by lovesick pigeons, Quasimodo the Omega Man lets Peter Jackson's evil spirit out of the bottle again

Diamond was selling coal on the blue market when she heard this craziness. Her best response was to strangle Pitch and then cut off all his hair. She arranged the clippings into this pattern…

Originally Posted by Diamond

Loslote was forced to sweep them up by order of her boss. The work was horrible and she was often heard screaming at people as she walked home afterwards. In a dark alley, she found an audience to hear her woes. She told them…

Originally Posted by Loslote

As Hunchback Sam unleases the Genie from Hell from its lamp to attack a city of theatre-goers yet again, twitterpated birds hover in a cage filled with floating purple hearts and dots.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Rune was in that audience and was not pleased with what he heard. Indeed, he was so offended that he took hold of the nearest child and chiselled this image into their face…

Originally Posted by Rune

Legate’s family told him about what Rune had done and he was not impressed. So, he uprooted the nearest tree and used it to build a raft. He sailed to a desert island and wrote a message in a bottle, which read…

Originally Posted by Legate

When Hookbill the Hunchback was asked to create a "new, modern design for King Théoden's residental town", he decided to summon the Infernal Genie to help him with the task.

Sea captain wilwarin538 took the message, read it and then laughed until the whole ship sank. The pattern it left in the water looked strangely like this…

Originally Posted by wilwarin538

Aganzir, flying past on her personal dragon, saw this and took it somewhat too seriously. When she knew what it was she rode straight to the local hair dressers, burned it down, and filed a complaint to the council, saying…

Originally Posted by Aganzir

Hookbill needs help from a genie to design Théoden's dream house.

It fell to Mnemosyne to sort the resultant rioting out. When it was all done, all that was left was her crippled remains on the floor of the council chamber. It looked like this…

Originally Posted by Mnemosyne

Sally had nothing but bad things to say about this when she saw it, having broke into the chamber as a spy, hoping to find something incriminating. Her report back to her superiors said this…

Originally Posted by Satansaloser2005

As Rune strives for equality, both in the business world and in fashion, Aladdin dreams of eating green eggs and ham with his trousers off.

[Blind Guardian]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

Pitchwife stumbled upon this tramp while walking his father around the park. When the full impact hit him, he chopped down the nearest tree and fashioned it into this…

So where is Pitchwives picture? It goes right on to Loslote's.