Nogrod, one request of change only - when Stigend calls Thornden and Thornden replies with “Now what is it?” it sounds like he's impatient and grumpy. Please change it to simply "What is it?" O-or.......better yet, if he's already near Leof, he likely sees what's going on and has heard Leof's call and knows that he needs help......so! How 'bout it is changed thusly:
Quote:
“I’m at the corner! Wait!” called Léof as he reached the actual corner of the house. “The corner is still intact here as it has not being burnt down! I need help! I can’t hoist this over it myself”
“Thornden!” Stigend yelled out aloud wishing to hear a reply.
"I'm here!" came the answer from near enough and from the direction Léof was in. "I'll help him..." Stigend couldn’t see Thornden from behind the cloud of ashes their advance had produced but he realised he was near Léof.
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That alright?
(<- Sweet smile.)
EDIT:
Elempi, let me know if I handled Eodwine's feelings and appearence incorrectly.