Crazy Horses! Wah! Wah!
“Man eating horses!”
The cry cam from Sam, who had taken the wheel while the other Hobbits relaxed in the parlour.
“Gosh!” said Pippin, munching lazily on a chicken leg. “He must be hungry. I wonder whether he might prefer chicken instead.”
"Who?" asked Merry.
"The man eating the horses," replied Pippin. "I've heard of being hungry enough to eat a horse, but I don't think that even I could manage more than one."
“Er – I don’t think Sam is referring to a man dining on horse meat, Pip,” said Merry. “I think he means horses that eat men.”
“Well, we should be fine then,” said Pippin. “We are Hobbits, not Men.”
“Actually, many scholars hold that Hobbits are a sub-branch of Man,” pointed out Merry. “In which case …”
“Well, that’s all very well,” interrupted Frodo. “But we really could do without a herd of equine carnivores running about the place.”
“Nonsense!” said Bilbo, as he roused himself and headed for the door to the living room. “There’s no such thing as man-eating ho … Ulp!”
The other Hobbits rushed to join him. And sure enough, there in the living room, half a dozen evil-looking, sharp-fanged horses were advancing menacingly on Sam.
“Grammercy! Lawks a lordy!” cried Sam. “They’re after having me for their dinner, Master Frodo sir! Help me!”
“Well, whether Hobbits be Men or not,” observed Frodo. “They don’t look particularly choosy to me. What are we going to do?”